True Colors

slice of life

Looking back on the last 10 years of my life. Ten years of misery, pain, feeling awful (saying it lightly), loss, hurt, devastation, sadness, testing, procedures, surgeries, and a lot of sleepless nights.

People say you will see the true colors of people when you are at the worst times of your life. And guess what? It couldn’t be more true. People who I thought were my friends, even close friends and family deserted me when I needed them most. Was it that they couldn’t understand? Was it that they didn’t know what to do or say? Was it that they couldn’t or didn’t want to deal with my situation?

During my diagnosis, a close friend (who was just in my wedding) disappeared. REALLY?!?!?! Out of my life. I would get together with neighbors one Friday night a month to play Bunco. Well, there came a time when I just couldn’t go anymore. I was too tired or not feeling well enough to go. In the beginning, I got a card and treats to let me know they were thinking of me. I was touched. However, it didn’t last long until they were gone too. Out of my life. Even my own blood…some family members were not there for me when I needed them most. I had a close friend that after I was in her wedding wrote me off too. Out of my life. Of course they were the part timers too. Sometimes I would hear from them and sometimes I wouldn’t. Eventually, wouldn’t hear from them at all. Out of my life.

Of course I was hurt and sad to have these people I thought were my friends desert me in my time of need. However, I couldn’t be happier now. I realized what true friendship is when Cindy came into my life. She is my angel. At the time I didn’t know her well, but I had this feeling I could trust her. I poured my heart out to her in April 2014.  I was blown away with her responses. She was truly sad and heartbroken for me. She really wanted to hear my story and listened to every word. She was so genuine, loving, caring, and supportive. More than I ever got for people I knew for years or even my whole life. Someone who I could finally be myself around. I didn’t have to pretend or throw on a fake smile. We became friends instantly. Now we are sisters by heart. Cindy has shown me that there is good in this world.

true colors quote


11 thoughts on “True Colors

  1. Lisa says:

    It’s hard to know how to support a friend or family member who is having a hard time, but I think you have shown that sometimes just hanging around and staying in touch is all they need.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am happy that it sounds as if you have come a far way from this dark period, and happy that you and Cindy found each other.
    Often friends don’t know what to do. Perhaps you will now be a friend who knows how to respond when a friend is suffering.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Shelly,
    I am sorry for all that you have had to endure.
    You have a beautiful heart, so although you have been hurt, keep your heart open to new friends on your path ready to walk the next stretch with you or to stay on the journey for your lifetime. You have so much to offer. Share your smiles, your hellos, and your friendship. You will be a gift to each one that has the opportunity to truly know you. I love the song by Wayne Watson, “A Season in Your Path.” People do come and go but our lives our richer for the times we had them in our life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lynnedorfman says:

    I just found your new post on twitter. This piece took a lot of courage to write. I know a little bit about your medical history. You are incredible, Shelly.

    This year you look so great, and now you are running. New friendships in school, too, with great human beings like Gail.

    So much energy into your teaching, your love for your kindergarteners – and they love you right back! And now this blog to continue your writerly life after March Slice is over.

    We have many, many acquaintances, but only a handful of true-blue friends. Sounds like you found one in Cindy! Thanks for sharing a very personal part of your life. Writing it down always helps me to breathe!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. emily1103 says:

    This is both very encouraging (that there are people like Cindy in the world) and convicting. I think back on my own life–were there ever people like you who needed me, but for whom it was difficult to help? Did I write any one off? People who needed me? Thank you for the honesty and challenge of this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sometimes people have there own struggles that may keep them from being able to support others. Others may just not know how to help or how to keep helping. For them it may be more than they are willing to handle. Forgive them for any weaknesses they have shown. It is wonderful in the midst of your challenges, you found someone that could be your rock! Hoping you are moving towards long term health!

    Liked by 1 person

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