Looking back on the last 10 years of my life. Ten years of misery, pain, feeling awful (saying it lightly), loss, hurt, devastation, sadness, testing, procedures, surgeries, and a lot of sleepless nights.
People say you will see the true colors of people when you are at the worst times of your life. And guess what? It couldn’t be more true. People who I thought were my friends, even close friends and family deserted me when I needed them most. Was it that they couldn’t understand? Was it that they didn’t know what to do or say? Was it that they couldn’t or didn’t want to deal with my situation?
During my diagnosis, a close friend (who was just in my wedding) disappeared. REALLY?!?!?! Out of my life. I would get together with neighbors one Friday night a month to play Bunco. Well, there came a time when I just couldn’t go anymore. I was too tired or not feeling well enough to go. In the beginning, I got a card and treats to let me know they were thinking of me. I was touched. However, it didn’t last long until they were gone too. Out of my life. Even my own blood…some family members were not there for me when I needed them most. I had a close friend that after I was in her wedding wrote me off too. Out of my life. Of course they were the part timers too. Sometimes I would hear from them and sometimes I wouldn’t. Eventually, wouldn’t hear from them at all. Out of my life.
Of course I was hurt and sad to have these people I thought were my friends desert me in my time of need. However, I couldn’t be happier now. I realized what true friendship is when Cindy came into my life. She is my angel. At the time I didn’t know her well, but I had this feeling I could trust her. I poured my heart out to her in April 2014. I was blown away with her responses. She was truly sad and heartbroken for me. She really wanted to hear my story and listened to every word. She was so genuine, loving, caring, and supportive. More than I ever got for people I knew for years or even my whole life. Someone who I could finally be myself around. I didn’t have to pretend or throw on a fake smile. We became friends instantly. Now we are sisters by heart. Cindy has shown me that there is good in this world.